Day Seven

The author, Rosie Molinary talks about in her book on Day Seven about how we all have this voice in our head that nags us about everything.  You know the voice she's talking about.  The one that reminds you constantly that you're not meeting expectations.....you're too fat, your hair is too frizzy  or that you just aren't worth a whole hell of a lot.  The challenge for today was to give the voice a name and when she pipes up to put her in her place.

I named mine Mo.  On a few occasions today I found myself looking pretty damn crazy as I said out loud in my car, "Mo...go fuck yourself..."  or "Mo, shut up!!"  Part of this process was to also turn around the voice in your head and spin what Mo says.  I said things like, "Mo, I am going through a long process right now so that I can be healthy and more confident in my own skin.....so I don't care if I don't meet your skinny standards."

Off topic just a little bit....this reminds me a lot of my childhood.  I was raised Catholic and would be standing in line for confession trying to make up a lie to tell the priest.  While I was telling the priest my fake confession my inner voice would be telling me all sorts of things like, "Oh you are SO going to hell for that one...."  or "You don't mean a word you're saying.....liar liar pants on fire.."  So my inner voice and I have a history.  Like when I was trying to think nice thoughts of someone, I'd actually be thinking about their horrible demise.  It used to freak me out....then again....I read Sybil at like 6. 

So I'm going to keep having these conversations in my head.  I mean...the worst that can happen is that I could look crazy to the innocent bystanders who hear me say, "Hey Mo, go crawl up someone else's ass!!"  :)